My Policy on Swearing

I am a former sailor. I read Cracked.com. I watch South Park. I am no stranger to foul language. I know what it is, and I know how to use it.

I've been fairly good in my life with keeping my vocabulary clean in situations where those words would not go over well, or would be a poor influence when I'm supposed to be a good influence.

I know some families who are able to keep their children from watching TV, or severely restrict TV watching. That doesn't work for our family. My wife and I both have shows we like, and the kids are always there. I'll let her speak for her own shows, but the kids have been in the room with each of us as we watch our preferred shows.. I tend to avoid shows with gratuitous cussing, but some "damn" and "hell" are unavoidable in many cases. Also in some cases, slang terms for anatomy have become mainstream. They're going to show up.

An Unwalled City

I recently relaunched this blog with a crossover post from my main blog, The Stand Up Philosopher. I was challenged to read Nehemiah from the perspective of male leadership, and it was enlightening.

In the post, I wondered why Nehemiah saw Jerusalem as a reproach without walls. I asked:

For one thing, Nehemiah considered Jerusalem as a reproach with the walls down. Putting the walls back up would make the city no longer a reproach. I have to wonder if there is anything I can draw from that. Is a person, a family, a church, a group, a society, etc. a reproach with a broken wall, a lack of boundaries, or no form of defensive security and self-containment? Is there a broader application?

I've found something of an answer in Proverbs 25:28:

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

At the time I recorded that verse in my journal, I was dealing with some anger and boundary issues. I've always had a problem with that. I've been too open, and it cost me a lot of trust from people close to me. 

Through that phase, I started learning self-control. I started learning how to deal with my anger, especially in how I respond. I also started to learn how to separate and compartmentalize parts of my life. I don't think I've ever had trouble with bringing work home, but I've often had trouble with bringing home to work. When I was upset about something at home, it affected my ability to work, and interact with people at work.

I think I finally got that fixed within the last couple of years. I guess you could say I built some appropriate walls.

Nehemiah From the Perspective of Male Leadership

This is a cross post. I originally wrote this on my main blog, The Stand Up Philosopher, about three years ago. I've been thinking about bringing this blog back. People have read it and told me they like my writing. I'm going to kick off the relaunch of Christian Family Life with this repost, then I'll post a series of Proverbs that helped me several years ago while I was dealing with some anger and boundary issues. This was originally posted January 29, 2009. I'm no longer a member of that church for various reasons, one of which being distance.
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My church is going to start a new men’s group. It’s proven to be a real challenge as we are a “freeway church”, that is, our membership is pretty well spread out. We’re not a community church where our membership generally lives nearby. My house is currently about 10 miles from the church, and if we sell and move into my in-laws’, I’ll be 20 miles out. Some people come from even farther. We’re also incredibly busy. Trying to find a date and time for a men’s group to meet has been difficult. I can’t do breakfast meetings because I get to work at 6:30 AM. We finally settled on Thursday afternoon, with our first meeting being today. We’ll see how it goes.

In preparation for our first meeting, I read the book of Nehemiah from the perspective of male leadership. For the past several weeks our pastors have been preaching from Nehemiah. Several things stood out to me during this read. For one thing, Nehemiah considered Jerusalem as a reproach with the walls down. Putting the walls back up would make the city no longer a reproach. I have to wonder if there is anything I can draw from that. Is a person, a family, a church, a group, a society, etc. a reproach with a broken wall, a lack of boundaries, or no form of defensive security and self-containment? Is there a broader application? I don’t like to over-spiritualize or allegorize parts of the Bible for which neither was intended, but in many cases there is a deeper message. I don’t have the answer now, but I do plan to study this.