I wish I could tell you I took to being a father like a fish to water. Nothing in my life prepared me for small children. Yes, I had a dad. I still have a dad. But I was completely insulated from dealing with babies and small children. I was clueless, and there was nobody to teach, mentor, or disciple me. Not my dad (I lived in New Jersey, he still lives in Texas), not my father in law, and definitely not my wife. I had no close friends with small children. So I was on my own for much of the early years of my children's lives.
Now that they're 6 and 7, things are much easier. I can relate to them. I can reason with them. I can joke with them. And I can still kick their butts.
When I first met Christina in 2000 (Y2K), I'd been doing some reading on homeschooling. I shared that reading with her. Somehow, she agreed. We had Joshua in 2004, and I changed jobs so she could stay home with the kids. We had Caleb in 2005. We've been a single income family since March of 2005, when my employer at the time, BAE Systems, hired me from contract to full time employee, and Christina resigned her job in HR at a lumber yard. It's been tough, and we've made a lot of hard choices, but somehow we've made it with one income.
That got even more challenging last year. I was laid off from an engineering job. Things had been going south on that job for months, and it finally came to an end. By the time I was laid off in March of 2010, Christina had already been homeschooling the kids. Unfortunately, the books I had been reading were on WHY to homeschool, not HOW. I left a lot of it up to her. While my job was heading south, most of my reading was on how to run my own business or develop my skills to get a better job. I read books like "Escape From Cubicle Nation" and several Robert Bly and John T. Reed books on freelance writing and copywriting. Christina grew frustated that I wasn't helping her with homeschooling.
I went into Real Estate for a while. I'd always been interested, and since I couldn't find a decent job in a reasonable distance, I got my Real Estate license. I worked with Weichert. I actually sold one house in the 2010 New Jersey market.
I'm sure if I'd had enough time, I could have done really well in real estate. It was a lot of fun. But it takes a long time to build up a pipeline of future business, and I just didn't have that time available. An application of mine was accepted for a job in the Washington D.C. area, and I was offered an interview.
By this point, I was open to a job in any location I had friends or family I could stay with. I would have taken San Antonio, TX, Lexinton, KY, or even outside Detroit, MI where I knew people. So when I got the offer for the D.C area job, I had a friend there. I had an appoitment with an client for my real estate business, but the D.C. job was able to schedule the interview early enough in the morning to make it back to NJ by the afternoon for my appointment, so I went. I stayed with my friend, who had similar job experience and helped prep me.
Because this blog is intended to be from a Christian worldview, I will admit I am not totally faultless for my job in Philadelphia coming to an end. I screwed several things up. I don't hold the company I worked for faultless, and it ended badly for both of us. A few days before the interview in the D.C. area, I repented to God of some of the pride I had when that job died. I repented for my failure, and humbled myself. I committed myself before Him to return to one of the conditions that led to the end of that job. I said I would be humbled and live with that condition again if that's what He wanted. And within days, I had an interview. It's subjective, but I stand by it.
Also, strangely enough, was something Christina told me. When I was laid off, my previous job had completely traumatized me to cubicles. Yes, it sounds silly, but in 2 years, I had a cubicle right outside of a conference room and in a high traffic area, another cubicle shared with a shared printer, and another cubicle next to the coffee pot. I couldn't concentrate with people walking past and making lots of noise, and I let it bother me too much. That's part of the humbling. The Sunday before the interview, as we were driving to church for Sunday night service, Christina told me "I have a feeling that you'll be working in Virginia for 2 years." My internal response is not fit for this blog. I asked what she was talking about. At that point, I was determined to make it in real estate. I had freedom. No cubicles. Unlimited potential. A different situation every day. But on Sunday she made that comment, and Wednesday, I had a request for an interview. I coordinated with my friend, packed and went down.
I aced the interview. It took more than 2 months to get through HR, but I started in October (after an August interview; thanks for your quick response, HR!) I now work in Virginia, but still have a house and family in New Jersey.
I don't write this for any pity at all. I enjoy my job. I have a lot of potential here. I have some good friends. The hard part is, I live 180 miles from my wife and children, and only see them every 2 weeks. But the work is awesome, and I even have my own office, with a desk where I can see the door. Nobody sneaks up behind me, and I'm much more productive. On my last job, the guy who was supposedly my manager would sneak up behind me a grab my shoulders. It took a LOT of willpower not to knock the consciousness out of him. When he grabbed my shoulders unexpectedly, I really wanted to stand up and punch him. I don't like being snuck up on like that, and my requests for him to to do that anymore went ignored.
But with a decent paycheck, great benefits, and great career potential, I'm left with kids whom we're trying to homechool, and the question of how to do my part?
Christina has done a great job with Joshua, who is 7. But Caleb was refusing to read. A couple years ago, I downloaded the McGuffey Readers, and last year while I was unemployed, I worked with Joshua on them.
Since Caleb, who is 6, was refusing to learn to read (although he LOVES math), I somehow realized I had to take charge. But how? I'm 180 miles away and only home for 3 days every 2 weeks. I'm an IT professional. If only the technology existed...
What I ended up doing was having Christina create a Skype account for herself. She actually made one for Caleb. Skype, for free, allows voice and video chat through IP. It also allows the sharing of the desktop. So what I do to teach Caleb to read is, I load the McGuffey Primer on my monitor. When Caleb calls, I talk to him for a little while. Then I walk him through a lesson or two of McGuffey. Then, if he does a good job, I offer him the chance to watch Wipeout through Hulu or YouTube. That seems to work.
Believe it or not, it's allowed me the chance to teach my son to read from 180 miles away. He's getting better. And for the first time in homschooling, I'm able to be involved.
Now that they're 6 and 7, things are much easier. I can relate to them. I can reason with them. I can joke with them. And I can still kick their butts.
When I first met Christina in 2000 (Y2K), I'd been doing some reading on homeschooling. I shared that reading with her. Somehow, she agreed. We had Joshua in 2004, and I changed jobs so she could stay home with the kids. We had Caleb in 2005. We've been a single income family since March of 2005, when my employer at the time, BAE Systems, hired me from contract to full time employee, and Christina resigned her job in HR at a lumber yard. It's been tough, and we've made a lot of hard choices, but somehow we've made it with one income.
That got even more challenging last year. I was laid off from an engineering job. Things had been going south on that job for months, and it finally came to an end. By the time I was laid off in March of 2010, Christina had already been homeschooling the kids. Unfortunately, the books I had been reading were on WHY to homeschool, not HOW. I left a lot of it up to her. While my job was heading south, most of my reading was on how to run my own business or develop my skills to get a better job. I read books like "Escape From Cubicle Nation" and several Robert Bly and John T. Reed books on freelance writing and copywriting. Christina grew frustated that I wasn't helping her with homeschooling.
I went into Real Estate for a while. I'd always been interested, and since I couldn't find a decent job in a reasonable distance, I got my Real Estate license. I worked with Weichert. I actually sold one house in the 2010 New Jersey market.
I'm sure if I'd had enough time, I could have done really well in real estate. It was a lot of fun. But it takes a long time to build up a pipeline of future business, and I just didn't have that time available. An application of mine was accepted for a job in the Washington D.C. area, and I was offered an interview.
By this point, I was open to a job in any location I had friends or family I could stay with. I would have taken San Antonio, TX, Lexinton, KY, or even outside Detroit, MI where I knew people. So when I got the offer for the D.C area job, I had a friend there. I had an appoitment with an client for my real estate business, but the D.C. job was able to schedule the interview early enough in the morning to make it back to NJ by the afternoon for my appointment, so I went. I stayed with my friend, who had similar job experience and helped prep me.
Because this blog is intended to be from a Christian worldview, I will admit I am not totally faultless for my job in Philadelphia coming to an end. I screwed several things up. I don't hold the company I worked for faultless, and it ended badly for both of us. A few days before the interview in the D.C. area, I repented to God of some of the pride I had when that job died. I repented for my failure, and humbled myself. I committed myself before Him to return to one of the conditions that led to the end of that job. I said I would be humbled and live with that condition again if that's what He wanted. And within days, I had an interview. It's subjective, but I stand by it.
Also, strangely enough, was something Christina told me. When I was laid off, my previous job had completely traumatized me to cubicles. Yes, it sounds silly, but in 2 years, I had a cubicle right outside of a conference room and in a high traffic area, another cubicle shared with a shared printer, and another cubicle next to the coffee pot. I couldn't concentrate with people walking past and making lots of noise, and I let it bother me too much. That's part of the humbling. The Sunday before the interview, as we were driving to church for Sunday night service, Christina told me "I have a feeling that you'll be working in Virginia for 2 years." My internal response is not fit for this blog. I asked what she was talking about. At that point, I was determined to make it in real estate. I had freedom. No cubicles. Unlimited potential. A different situation every day. But on Sunday she made that comment, and Wednesday, I had a request for an interview. I coordinated with my friend, packed and went down.
I aced the interview. It took more than 2 months to get through HR, but I started in October (after an August interview; thanks for your quick response, HR!) I now work in Virginia, but still have a house and family in New Jersey.
I don't write this for any pity at all. I enjoy my job. I have a lot of potential here. I have some good friends. The hard part is, I live 180 miles from my wife and children, and only see them every 2 weeks. But the work is awesome, and I even have my own office, with a desk where I can see the door. Nobody sneaks up behind me, and I'm much more productive. On my last job, the guy who was supposedly my manager would sneak up behind me a grab my shoulders. It took a LOT of willpower not to knock the consciousness out of him. When he grabbed my shoulders unexpectedly, I really wanted to stand up and punch him. I don't like being snuck up on like that, and my requests for him to to do that anymore went ignored.
But with a decent paycheck, great benefits, and great career potential, I'm left with kids whom we're trying to homechool, and the question of how to do my part?
Christina has done a great job with Joshua, who is 7. But Caleb was refusing to read. A couple years ago, I downloaded the McGuffey Readers, and last year while I was unemployed, I worked with Joshua on them.
Since Caleb, who is 6, was refusing to learn to read (although he LOVES math), I somehow realized I had to take charge. But how? I'm 180 miles away and only home for 3 days every 2 weeks. I'm an IT professional. If only the technology existed...
What I ended up doing was having Christina create a Skype account for herself. She actually made one for Caleb. Skype, for free, allows voice and video chat through IP. It also allows the sharing of the desktop. So what I do to teach Caleb to read is, I load the McGuffey Primer on my monitor. When Caleb calls, I talk to him for a little while. Then I walk him through a lesson or two of McGuffey. Then, if he does a good job, I offer him the chance to watch Wipeout through Hulu or YouTube. That seems to work.
Believe it or not, it's allowed me the chance to teach my son to read from 180 miles away. He's getting better. And for the first time in homschooling, I'm able to be involved.
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