A Man Spending Time With His Friends Is Good For A Marriage

I came across a blog post today referencing an article on "bromances", a term I am not fond of. I do not engage in such things. I hang out with the guys. I do have some close friends, and spending time with them is certainly beneficial. Two of my best friends are Navy buddies. We served together, and 14 years later are still in touch (I'm old enough to have retired from the military.) I went to see Skyfall with a friend yesterday. With my reading about game lately, it was interesting to note that Bond is masculine. He has a leather face and a permanent scowl. No "metro-sexual" here.

 

When I was younger, I always hated watching good friends get married, because almost inevitably, their wives would choke off our friendships. One of my friends had a wife who let us get together to drink beer and go to computer shows (not at the same time, but that could be fun). She was rare.

 

As I read that short blog post, I was reminded of one of my Kindle highlights, so I went to retrive it and write about it. From the book "What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Sex":

 

"Time with the guys will improve sex with your wife." A recent study found that a man's testosterone level decreases when he's in a romantic relationship but increases when he spends time with other guys.' A few hours hanging out with the guys will increase your desire for your wife. God made us so that time with other men makes us long for the woman we love. Explain this to your wife the next time she protests when you want to play basketball with the guys.

So ladies, if you want your man to be a better husband, let him go out and do things with his friends. It's better for both of you.

I'm in a situation now where, as a geographic bachelor, I get to spend as much time with friends as time allows. Back in New Jersey, I had very few friends because New Jersey is an insular society that is almost impossible to penetrate if you didn't go to high school there.

Female Hysterics

Here's a video from Aaron Cleary. He mostly directs his talks to younger men coming of age in a world about to get hit with hyperinflation and decline. A world where a college degree is approximately worthless (except in subjects that actually require hard work). A world where women don't value men.

In this video he talks about hysterics. When a woman flips out for no apparent reason, and everything you try to do to make the situation better only makes her worse. I wish I'd had this video 12 years ago.


I've never understood why women act like this. I've also never understood why they get away with it. This kind of behavior is not acceptable for adults. Is it just because they're "Daddy's Little Angel" and are simply never corrected?

Having been there myself, I totally understand why an insecure young man, afraid he'll never get another date again, will put up with it. Or an insecure young husband will put up with it. 

The "Leading" of a Christian Wife

This is obviously meant to be satirical. Still, ladies, can you spot this kind of thinking in your own hearts? Men, do you notice this in your wives?

I can. I've seen it in my wife, and in many of my friends' wives.

By the way, here is an excerpt from "Love and Respect" (referenced in that article) that I have underlined, boxed in, circled, and highlighted almost to the point where I can't read it anymore. From the middle of page 233:

What I see happening in some marriages is that the wife believes or appears to believe that she does not sin. In many other marriages, the only sin that a wife will readily admit to is her negative reaction to her husband's failure to be loving or for losing patience with the children. Beyond these areas, women do not see themselves as sinning, even though they readily admit bad habits and wrong attitudes. They write these off to chemical imbalances, hormonal problems, or dysfunction due to family of origin. 

I made the mistake when I was younger of putting women on pedestals. Women often are beautiful and have soft voices and it was easy to assume angelic or pure qualities of them. I learned this is wrong. Women are capable of having hearts as dark and cold as men's. In some ways, women are capable of being far more cruel and manipulative than men.

This is not meant to be a bad thing. It's meant to be an honest thing. I've done a lot of reading over the last year or so into a subject called "game". Most bloggers in this genre focus solely on the aspect of picking up girls. Others, like Vox Day, write about the socio/sexual aspects of male/female relations. I've tried for the last several months to think of how to add my unique voice to this subject, especially in regards to the topic of this blog of Christian Family Life. 

Andy Andrews: 12 Ways to Create Memories

I shortened the title. Andy Andrews had a post on his blog today giving 12 suggestions to create memories with your family. It's intended for the season of the holidays. I'm sure it's good for other things. #6 is out for me since my family is in New Jersey, a full service state. I often do get out and pump my own gas when they let me get away with it. When the pump shuts off, I can still fit 3 gallons in the tank.

And of course, since we homeschool, I really don't have to care if teachers are happy or annoyed with keeping the children up late on a "school night". They often stay up later than I'm capable of.