Patience
I view patience and anger as related, especially since a loss of patience often results in anger. Many people pray to God for patience. I don't have access to data on whether or not God grants that request.
Patience isn't magic. It's a virtue. And like any virtue, it has to be cultivated over the course of your entire life. If you want to become more patient, you're going to have to put in some serious work. But it is worth the effort.
Anger
Anger is an emotion. It is perfectly normal. Not all anger is wrong. We are made in the image and likeness of God, and God gets angry. Jesus got angry. The anger itself is not wrong; the response to anger is usually wrong.
Ephesians 4:26 (ESV)
26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
I'm not going to spend much time defining anger or patience. Greater minds have already done this, and this post is focused on tactics; practical steps you can take. Like most "spiritual discipline" material, this will focus on things I've tried that I found work for me.
Health
There are some simple things you can do to get a better response in situations where you typically lose your patience and get angry. I find my response is more even when I'm taking a B vitamin (obviously, nothing I say constitutes health advice). I tend to get cranky when I'm dehydrated, so ensuring I get enough water is important. And definitely do not get in my way prior to my first cup of coffee (I'm usually the first one up anyway). Adequate sleep is important, but I understand some seasons of life do not allow it, especially when you have small children.
For me, getting up and walking around helps a lot. Usually I just pace back and forth. Going for a walk outside is better, but movement helps your mind and body so take what you can get. Stretch. Swing your arms around. Whatever you can do to move.
Breathing
There is a tactic I picked up from a book written by a former Navy SEAL called "box breathing". I've seen indications this is practiced by most special forces personnel. Inhale on a 4 count (that is, inhale while slowly counting 1-2-3-4), hold for a 4 count, then exhale on a 4 count. Repeat this a few times. Deep breathing increases your body's oxygen supply. This clears your mind and relaxes you. I find doing this when I'm angry or frustrated helps reset things.
Music/Prayer
You can try putting on music or praying. I have come to use songs as prayers, and I have a few that I go to regularly. I've taken the time to memorize some songs so I have them available in my head when I need them. The Lord's Prayer is also useful to me. I've found it refocuses my mind on God and not on my own current problem.
Use whatever music works for you. I memorized some classics like "Amazing Grace" and "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God" as well as some contemporary music by people like Chris Tomlin and Skillet, a current favorite.
Some Christians find devotional material useful. It doesn't work as well for me, but I don't consider myself "normal". I'm inspired by finding new connections between different parts of the Bible, or new discoveries in science or archeology that validate what the Bible says. But over the years, I've gotten on a few devotional email lists and sometimes they're useful. There is a lot of material out there; some of it free.
Give Thanks
There is a reason we're told to give thanks frequently. Thanksgiving also resets your perspective. Are your children making you angry? Think about how blessed you are to have children. This is only a moment in time. Think of the course of your life and the wonderful times you've had with your children and those you're still going to have. You've been blessed with children and with the responsibility to teach them. This will pass.
I had a weird feeling on Thanksgiving 2019. After years of frustrations and challenges and not seeing my children often, I had them for 2 weeks that Thanksgiving. We went over to the in-laws', and I remember having a feeling of being greatly blessed. That's a feeling I can hold onto during trying times. Likewise, when they told me they wanted to be baptized last year. Recalling that now is helping me deal with some uncertainty I'm facing.
Perspective
Thanksgiving is a great perspective reset. Reframe things. Children pestering you? There are far worse problems to have than your children wanting your attention. Is your job frustrating? I get it; I've been there my entire career. But I've also lost a job, so I know having one is something to be thankful for.
I have yet to come up with a successful reframe for junk robocalls.
Conclusion
Those are some quick and easy tactics. Those might help you through some situations, but if you REALLY want to address your patience and anger, it's going to take some work. It will be worth it though. I'll save that for another post.
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