In the church, we often make analogies to war and battle. We talk about "Spiritual Warfare". When we face a crisis, it might be compared to a battle. Those of us with military backgrounds can relate to that, but it seems to have broad appeal to non-military.
The problem is, unlike actual warfare for which you can be trained, there is no real training for this. There is no fire team. There is no damage control. You are on your own with no training, no preparation, and no support.
I served in the Navy as a Fire Controlman. My Naval Enlistment Classification (NEC) was 1127, Block 0 CIWS Technician. I was also qualified on the Target Acquisition System (TAS), Rolling Airframe Missile (RAM), and NATO Sea Sparrow on both the Radar Set Console (ROC) and Firing Officer's Console (FOC). While I didn't have a specific qualification on the Mk 86 Gun Fire Control System (GFCS), I spent enough time around it that I could have taken over the console and operated it in a crisis.
I typically stood watch on the FOC and the CIWS Remote Control Panel (RCP). Both were defensive systems. If a missile or aircraft were approaching the ship, hopefully you could get it with Sea Sparrow and CIWS as a last resort. RAM was added to the ship the last year I was onboard. It was another short range defensive missile system.
We rehearsed missile engagements over and over and over again. Sure, it was boring, but the intent to battle drills is so that when you haven't slept in three days and you're terrified out of your mind, your training takes over and you can continue to do your job. As a team, we had the entire script memorized because one person can't do the entire job. Infantry has their own version of this. They rehearse over and over again so that they can do their jobs in battle under the worst possible conditions. Police also go through a version of this.
We do not have this in the Christian version. There is little to no training. There are no teams. We are on our own. And this is wrong. It is unScriptural. It is NOT Christian.
When I went through my divorce in 2013, many of my brothers abandoned me on the field of battle. I was scared, confused, angry, frustrated, and a lot of other things. While I had a few close friends who stuck with me, I lost a lot of friends. Some pastors even unfriended me on social media. I guess I was "negative", and that's a sin to them. Abandoning a brother is not a sin to them somehow. It's simply cutting the negativity out of your life.
Some of those who stuck with me gave me advice that was about as useful as "make sure you aim the rifle and pull the trigger" in our war analogy. I knew and had been doing that all along.
One day a couple of coworkers who were very actively NOT Christians could tell I was struggling. They took me to lunch and just listened to me. This was the kind of gift that a pastor with a doctorate in "Marriage and Family counseling" would not give me. I got unfriended by him. But it was a gift nonetheless.
Other brothers would simply spend time with me. My small group leader would have me over for dinner with his family each week ahead of our men's prayer night. This was more valuable than maybe he understood.
I'm not here to complain. I'm only giving this as an example. So how do we make this practical?
I've been reading Ivan Throne lately. He talks of "never leave a brother behind", which should be one of our tenants in the church.
We can't be there for everybody, but we can be there for people in our spheres of influence. If you know of somebody struggling, come along side them. Listen to them. Don't try to offer them advice they probably already know. Rather than telling them "you should pray about this", PRAY WITH THEM. Bear whatever of their burdens you're able. Recruit a few other people to help out. And definitely understand this: you don't have all the facts. They will tell you or not on their own choosing. Sometimes there are underlying sins they don't want out there. You will never have all the facts of somebody's struggle. Just do what you can with what you understand.
If they push you away, let them know you will still support them.
When somebody falls from grace, the same applies. You don't have to agree with them or approve of what they did. God doesn't expect you to do that. But they still need you.
Occasionally, when a prominent figure falls from grace, I'll look up contact information and send them an email saying something like "I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm praying for you. Let me know if I can do anything." I have yet to get a response or even evidence my email was read, but I put it out there. I once offered support to a youth pastor who fell from grace in the worst possible way. He did not want it from me, but I felt a duty to offer.
Don't leave people bleeding on the battlefield. Even the guy in the company you don't like deserves to be dragged to safety and the medic. It is our duty.
I will see what I can do about addressing the battles we're likely to face and tactics for facing them. This is work that clearly needs to be done.
