Andy Andrews: 12 Ways to Create Memories

I shortened the title. Andy Andrews had a post on his blog today giving 12 suggestions to create memories with your family. It's intended for the season of the holidays. I'm sure it's good for other things. #6 is out for me since my family is in New Jersey, a full service state. I often do get out and pump my own gas when they let me get away with it. When the pump shuts off, I can still fit 3 gallons in the tank.

And of course, since we homeschool, I really don't have to care if teachers are happy or annoyed with keeping the children up late on a "school night". They often stay up later than I'm capable of.

Book Review: The Power of the Prophetic Blessing by John Hagee

I was asked if I'd be interested in reviewing The Power of the Prophetic Blessing. I agreed to review the book.

I wasn't sure what to expect. I haven't read very much by John Hagee, if anything. I know he's well thought of in many regards. Lately, I've found books written by pastors to be hard to read. Many of them write like they're in the pulpit, the material is soft or basic, and they repeat themselves and add in a bunch of stories. I often struggle with stories and anecdotes, since they tend to be subjective, especially in spiritual matters. Just because a pastor can produce a story that seems to agree with his point doesn't mean the point is a universal. So lately I've been real picky about the pastor written books I read.

I did enjoy The Power of the Prophetic Blessing. Of course, it has many "pastorisms" in it, but they didn't detract too much. I found a few assumptions I wasn't sure I agreed with, but for the most part, it's well written and the stories aren't too subjective.

Thoughts on Marital Communication

This post will probably be a lot of rambling. I hope it can be helpful to somebody.

I got hung up on last night. It was probably my fault. It had to do with communicating. I kind of knew was what being said, but I was focused more of the words that were used, which were incorrect and fallacious.

What I should have done is pay attention to the feelings behind the words. What is being said rather than how it is being said.

It's no secret that men and women are different. We have different physiologies, we see the world differently, our brains process things differently. We have slightly different feelings. We have different concerns. In many ways, we are the same, but there are some core differences. These can cause a lot of problems.

Accountability

One element essential to a successful life is to have a friend you can count on to throw the "BS" flag on you when you need it. When you're deceiving yourself, or going in the wrong direction, you need somebody you trust to call you on it, no matter how painful it happens to be. The pain is worth it.

Cutting Leaders Off At The Knees

I came across an interesting post this week. It’s also timely, considering Mother’s Day is coming up.

If you attend church, you may have noticed a trend. On Mother’s Day, the sermon is usually centered around Mary or Samuel’s mother Hannah. It praises all the hard working single mothers, and all the mothers and the wonders and joys they bring to life. And there’s nothing wrong with that, at least on the surface.

My Policy on Swearing

I am a former sailor. I read Cracked.com. I watch South Park. I am no stranger to foul language. I know what it is, and I know how to use it.

I've been fairly good in my life with keeping my vocabulary clean in situations where those words would not go over well, or would be a poor influence when I'm supposed to be a good influence.

I know some families who are able to keep their children from watching TV, or severely restrict TV watching. That doesn't work for our family. My wife and I both have shows we like, and the kids are always there. I'll let her speak for her own shows, but the kids have been in the room with each of us as we watch our preferred shows.. I tend to avoid shows with gratuitous cussing, but some "damn" and "hell" are unavoidable in many cases. Also in some cases, slang terms for anatomy have become mainstream. They're going to show up.

An Unwalled City

I recently relaunched this blog with a crossover post from my main blog, The Stand Up Philosopher. I was challenged to read Nehemiah from the perspective of male leadership, and it was enlightening.

In the post, I wondered why Nehemiah saw Jerusalem as a reproach without walls. I asked:

For one thing, Nehemiah considered Jerusalem as a reproach with the walls down. Putting the walls back up would make the city no longer a reproach. I have to wonder if there is anything I can draw from that. Is a person, a family, a church, a group, a society, etc. a reproach with a broken wall, a lack of boundaries, or no form of defensive security and self-containment? Is there a broader application?

I've found something of an answer in Proverbs 25:28:

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

At the time I recorded that verse in my journal, I was dealing with some anger and boundary issues. I've always had a problem with that. I've been too open, and it cost me a lot of trust from people close to me. 

Through that phase, I started learning self-control. I started learning how to deal with my anger, especially in how I respond. I also started to learn how to separate and compartmentalize parts of my life. I don't think I've ever had trouble with bringing work home, but I've often had trouble with bringing home to work. When I was upset about something at home, it affected my ability to work, and interact with people at work.

I think I finally got that fixed within the last couple of years. I guess you could say I built some appropriate walls.

Nehemiah From the Perspective of Male Leadership

This is a cross post. I originally wrote this on my main blog, The Stand Up Philosopher, about three years ago. I've been thinking about bringing this blog back. People have read it and told me they like my writing. I'm going to kick off the relaunch of Christian Family Life with this repost, then I'll post a series of Proverbs that helped me several years ago while I was dealing with some anger and boundary issues. This was originally posted January 29, 2009. I'm no longer a member of that church for various reasons, one of which being distance.
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My church is going to start a new men’s group. It’s proven to be a real challenge as we are a “freeway church”, that is, our membership is pretty well spread out. We’re not a community church where our membership generally lives nearby. My house is currently about 10 miles from the church, and if we sell and move into my in-laws’, I’ll be 20 miles out. Some people come from even farther. We’re also incredibly busy. Trying to find a date and time for a men’s group to meet has been difficult. I can’t do breakfast meetings because I get to work at 6:30 AM. We finally settled on Thursday afternoon, with our first meeting being today. We’ll see how it goes.

In preparation for our first meeting, I read the book of Nehemiah from the perspective of male leadership. For the past several weeks our pastors have been preaching from Nehemiah. Several things stood out to me during this read. For one thing, Nehemiah considered Jerusalem as a reproach with the walls down. Putting the walls back up would make the city no longer a reproach. I have to wonder if there is anything I can draw from that. Is a person, a family, a church, a group, a society, etc. a reproach with a broken wall, a lack of boundaries, or no form of defensive security and self-containment? Is there a broader application? I don’t like to over-spiritualize or allegorize parts of the Bible for which neither was intended, but in many cases there is a deeper message. I don’t have the answer now, but I do plan to study this.

Distance Homeschooling

I wish I could tell you I took to being a father like a fish to water. Nothing in my life prepared me for small children. Yes, I had a dad. I still have a dad. But I was completely insulated from dealing with babies and small children. I was clueless, and there was nobody to teach, mentor, or disciple me. Not my dad (I lived in New Jersey, he still lives in Texas), not my father in law, and definitely not my wife. I had no close friends with small children. So I was on my own for much of the early years of my children's lives.

Now that they're 6 and 7, things are much easier. I can relate to them. I can reason with them. I can joke with them. And I can still kick their butts.

When I first met Christina in 2000 (Y2K), I'd been doing some reading on homeschooling. I shared that reading with her. Somehow, she agreed. We had Joshua in 2004, and I changed jobs so she could stay home with the kids. We had Caleb in 2005. We've been a single income family since March of 2005, when my employer at the time, BAE Systems, hired me from contract to full time employee, and Christina resigned her job in HR at a lumber yard. It's been tough, and we've made a lot of hard choices, but somehow we've made it with one income.